YOUR SECRET ADMIRER Read online

  She didn’t know why, exactly, but tears filled her eyes as she played. She felt very proud, yet somehow sorrowful. It didn’t make sense. She didn’t care.

  The tears tickled. She couldn’t wipe them off her cheeks until the song ended.

  Then the whistle shrilled and the drums blammed, and she marched underneath the goal post and out through the gate.

  In the field behind the stadium, the drums stopped. “Fine job,” yelled Mr. Chambers. “Beautiful. Don’t forget to leave your plumes in the band room, and have a good weekend.”

  Someone tapped Janice’s shoulder.

  “You drop this?” asked a trumpet player. He had her music. She thanked him, and hurried to the band room. There she dropped her plume into the big cardboard box. She broke down her clarinet and put it away.

  As she left the band room, she looked down the hallway, half expecting to see Glen rushing toward her. No sign of him.

  She wondered where he was. Somewhere nearby, probably. He would sure be in for a shock when she sat down in the grandstand with her parents.

  She pushed open the door and stepped outside. Across the dark field, the stadium was bright and noisy. The voice of the announcer came loudly over the other sounds. “Kicking off for the Indians will be number twenty-three, Joe Stanley!”

  As she crossed the grass, she saw a dark figure heading toward her. Her eyes darted to the right arm. No cast.

  Maybe just someone on his way to the band room. But he didn’t carry an instrument, and he wore no uniform.

  “Hi,” she said nervously as he approached.

  “Hello, Janice,” he said.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “Mike?”

  “Yeah, it’s me.” He stepped closer, until Janice could see his face.

  “What are you doing over here?” she asked.

  “I came looking for you. I wanted to catch you before you got back to the stands. Do you want to sit with me?”

  She shrugged. She felt warm and confused. “Sure, I guess. If it’s all right with Brita.”

  “Brita isn’t here.” He took hold of Janice’s hand, and walked with her toward the stadium.

  “She isn’t?”

  “No.” He turned to Janice. His face looked solemn. “Have you got a date for the dance?”

  She shook her head.

  “Me neither. Will you go with me?”

  She thought briefly of Glen. If he dared to try anything… “Okay.”

  They walked to one of the stadium’s front gates. A guard let them enter.

  “This way,” Mike said. He led her toward the snack bar, and she saw Susan standing alone. “My sister has a few words to say.”

  Susan looked as if she might cry.

  “I’m sorry,” she said to Janice. “I was so selfish.”

  “What?”

  Susan sniffled. She took her glasses off and wiped her eyes. “Freddy… he told me how you planned everything. How you called him from the bowling alley and fixed it up so he would just happen to be pedaling by. You did all that for me, and now I have a boyfriend and you don’t, and it’s all my fault.”

  Janice shook her head. She didn’t understand.

  “I don’t know why I did it.”

  “Did what?”

  “Lied. You’re my best friend, you know, and I didn’t want to lose you. I was afraid, if you and Mike…” She sniffed, and again wiped her eyes. “Mike hasn’t been with Brita since the night at the library.”

  “But you told me…”

  “I know, I know. I’m sorry. They haven’t gone out together. Not once. It was all a lie. And it was a lie when I said he doesn’t like you. Because he does, he likes you a lot.” She suddenly broke down completely, heavy sobs making her shoulders shake. “I’m—so—sorry!”

  Janice watched her friend cry. She thought of the pain Susan had caused her. She knew she ought to be angry. For some reason, she wasn’t. Stepping forward, she put her arms around Susan. “Hey, it’s all right.”

  “I lied… to Mike, too. I told him… that you hated him.”

  “She told me all about this,” Mike said, “just before Freddy picked her up tonight. I guess the guilt got to her.”

  “I’m so sorry!” Susan repeated.

  “Let’s get some Coke and pizza,” Mike suggested, “and go to our seats. Freddy’s going to think you ditched him.”

  Janice climbed up the bleachers and moved down a row to an empty space beside her parents. “Guess what?” she said. “I’m going to the dance, after all.”

  “Marvelous,” Mom said. “Are you going with Susan?”

  “With Mike.”

  “Even better.”

  “Do you want us to pick you up afterwards?” Dad asked.

  “Mike has his parents’ car. He said he’ll take me home.”

  “What do you think, Hal?” Mom asked.

  “Fine with me. Mike seems like a responsible young man.”

  “Okay, Janice. We’ll want you home by twelve.”

  “Mom!”

  “Give or take half an hour,” Dad added.

  That brought him a sharp glance, but he smiled at Mom and it went away.

  “Do you have a dime for a call?” Dad asked.

  Janice checked. “Yep.” She started to get up.

  “By the way, you were dynamite in the halftime show.”

  “Thanks.”

  “No later than twelve-thirty,” Mom said.

  “Right.”

  She left them, and went to the far end of the stands where Mike was sitting with Susan and Freddy. “All set,” she said.

  “Great.”

  “I have to be home by twelve-thirty. Mom’s orders.”

  “No problem,” he said. And then he took hold of her hand.

  Janice kept her eyes mostly on the game, but she couldn’t pay attention. Not with Mike holding her hand. Not with her confusion over all that had happened during the past two weeks. Not with her new knowledge that Mike was interested only in her. She tried to concentrate on the game; it didn’t work. Her mind kept drifting, trying to straighten it all out so it made sense and she could really believe it.

  Then the game was over. She checked the scoreboard: 34-20.

  We won!

  Pressed close together by the crowd, they moved down the concrete stairs, around a corner, and down more stairs to the area behind the stands. The snack bar, Janice noticed, was closed; metal shutters had been pulled down over the serving window. It seemed like a special place, now. She would probably always remember standing there beside it while Susan cried and told her the truth about Mike.

  She looked behind her. Susan and Freddy were far back, just at the bottom of the stairs. She raised her arm high and waved. Susan was busy trying not to bump the people in front of her, but Freddy saw. He nudged Susan and pointed. Susan’s face lit up and she waved back.

  Janice stepped on the heel of the man in front of her. His head jerked around, anger on his face.

  “Gosh, I’m sorry,” she said.

  The anger faded. He smiled. “It’s all right.”

  They passed through the gate. Mike led her aside, and they stood against the fence for shelter from the crowd. “Let’s wait here for Susan and Freddy to catch up,” he said.

  While they waited, she watched the crowd. Her history teacher passed by, talking to a woman who was probably his wife. Donna Wayne and Shirley Grossman went by. So did Mrs. Evers, her counselor. Through a gap in the crowd, she saw across the sidewalk. Leaning against a tree by the street was Glen Rastick. He grinned at her, and waved his good arm. Her stomach suddenly hurt. She felt as if she had just swallowed a snowball whole and it was sitting inside her without melting.

  She squeezed Mike’s hand.

  “I see him,” Mike said. “Don’t worry, he won’t try anything.”

  Susan and Freddy caught up. The four of them started walking. It was a long way around the stadium to the school. Janice kept looking back. She didn’t see Glen, but she kn
ew he was somewhere close, watching through the darkness.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  In the gymnasium, she forgot about Glen. Streamers of crepe paper were strung overhead and balloons filled the basketball nets. The lights were dim. The music blasted her eardrums so she couldn’t think.

  She didn’t want to think.

  She was dancing with Mike, moving to the frenzied beat, watching him. That was all she cared about, all she wanted.

  Mike’s blond hair swung as his head swayed. He couldn’t seem to stop smiling. She had never seen him look so happy, or so handsome. His eyes stayed on her, making her feel self-conscious but pleased as she danced with him.

  Finally, the band took a break.

  Holding her hand, Mike led her out of the gym to the punch bowl in the entryway. A couple of women wearing Booster Club buttons were busy ladling punch into paper cups. Mike took two full cups off the table.

  They went to a corner near a trophy case.

  “You’re a good dancer,” Mike said.

  “You, too.”

  “Did you see Susan and Freddy?”

  She nodded.

  “They look like they’re having a great time. That was sure nice of you, helping them get together.”

  “Well…”

  “Did you know that Freddy has been trying, all month, to get up enough guts to ask her out?”

  “She thought it was me he liked. She said he might be my secret admirer.”

  “Have you heard any more since you wrote him to leave you alone?”

  “You know about that?”

  “Susan’s been keeping me up to date. That was a good idea, telling him to get lost. He sounded crazy, wanting you to run off with him.”

  “Yeah.” She tasted her punch. It was sweet like strawberries, and very cold. “The way I felt, I was nearly ready to go with him.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t.”

  “Me, too.”

  “About Brita, you know…”

  The sound of the name made her hurt. “You don’t have to explain,” she said.

  “No, I want to. Up in the library that night, I planned… I don’t know what went wrong. I tried to tell her that I wanted to stop seeing her, but she suddenly, you know, started kissing me. I couldn’t stop her. I mean, I wanted to but I couldn’t. It’s not easy, when you’re… you get kind of involved in it. Even if you don’t much want to. You know?”

  She remembered the night she and Susan hid to wait for her letter to be picked up. The couple on the bench. The young man had been so angry, at first. When the girl kissed him, though, it all changed.

  “I guess I understand.”

  “I never felt so awful in my life.”

  “I shouldn’t have said what I did, either.”

  He shrugged. “Anyway, it’s over now.”

  “Yeah.”

  They finished their punch.

  “More?”

  “If you do.”

  He went for refills.

  By the time they finished their second cups of punch, the band was playing again. They went into the gym and danced.

  A slow dance came.

  Mike took her hand. She stepped close to him, and he put his other hand on her back. She was glad she had left her uniform jacket on a chair with her shoes and purse. His hand felt warm and strong through her blouse. It slid up and down, caressing.

  “I wish,” Mike whispered, “they’d played one like this a long time ago.”

  “Me, too.”

  Janice wished he wasn’t so far away. She wondered if she dared move closer. Soon, the song would end. There might not be another slow one, so she eased forward. She sighed with pleasure as Mike held her closer.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  The last dance was a Beatles song from her parents’ generation, called, “Yesterday.” Alice, the drummer, sang the lyrics. It was a sad song.

  Janice held Mike close. They danced slowly, barely moving.

  When it was done, he stopped dancing but still held her. “I guess that’s it,” he said.

  “I wish it could go on all night.”

  “You don’t have to be home for an hour. Why don’t we drop off Susan and Freddy, and drive somewhere. Just us.”

  “Hey, that would be great.”

  They found Susan and Freddy, and left. The car was parked far away, near the football stadium. Janice wanted to hurry, but she couldn’t tell the others that every minute spent walking was stolen from her time alone with Mike.

  “It’s just around the corner,” Mike finally said.

  “Sweet stuff!”

  Janice spun around. Halfway down the block was Glen Rastick. He ran toward her.

  “Quick,” Janice said. “The car!”

  “You three go ahead.”

  “Mike!”

  “It’s time he stopped all this.”

  “Please, he’ll…”

  “Go on. I’ll just have a little talk with him.”

  “If you’re staying, so am I.”

  “Me, too,” said Freddy.

  “Four against one,” Susan added. “We’ll slaughter him.”

  Glen stopped running. In the street light, Janice could see his grin. It made her shiver.

  “Say, sugar face, you almost got away.” He looked at Mike. “Take a hike, turkey.”

  “Don’t think so,” Mike said, sounding calm.

  “It’s your last chance. Get outa here, all three of you. Me and Janice got a date.”

  “Nope,” Mike said.

  “Nope, huh?” Bending down, Glen lifted a cuff of his jeans and took a small, dark object from his boot. He held it forward. A blade flicked out, and snapped into place.

  “Put it away,” Mike told him.

  “I want Janice.”

  Mike reached into his pocket.

  Glen took an uneasy step backwards, as if he expected the hand to come out with a knife or gun.

  It came out with a leather key case. Mike held the keys toward Janice. “Take these and lock yourself in the car.”

  “No, I’m staying.”

  “Janice!” he snapped.

  “I can’t let you fight him.”

  “I don’t want to,” Mike said, his voice gentle. “He isn’t leaving me any choice.” Reaching out, he brushed a loose wisp of hair away from Janice’s forehead. “Don’t worry.”

  Stepping past her, Mike started toward Glen.

  “Get back!” Glen warned. He thrust his knife at Mike.

  “Better think twice before you use that, Glen. You’ve been in jail, you know what it’s like. If you cut me, they’ll bust you good. And if you don’t cut me, I’ll take away that knife and make you eat it. Either way, you lose.”

  Glen took a step backwards.

  “And for what? So you can have a few minutes with a girl who doesn’t even like you? Me, I don’t like being where I’m not wanted.”

  “You think I do?” Glen cried.

  “Put the knife away.”

  “No.”

  Mike held out his hand for it.

  “Get back,” Glen warned.

  “Mike! Glen! Stop it!” Janice ran between them. “You want a date with me, Glen? You’ve got it.”

  “Janice!” Mike snapped.

  “I don’t want anybody hurt. Put away your knife, Glen. I’ll come with you.”

  “You will?”

  “I promise. Besides, I owe you for the broken date last week.” She managed a feeble smile. “And for the broken arm.”

  His hand lowered. He folded the knife shut against his leg.

  “Janice, you’re not…”

  “Good gripes,” Susan muttered.

  As Janice took a step toward Glen, Mike grabbed her arm. “I won’t let you,” he said. “This is stupid.”

  “It’s not stupid. How else can I keep you two from fighting? I don’t want…” Her voice cracked and her chin started to tremble. Swallowing, she forced herself to continue. “I don’t want you hurt, Mike. I couldn’t… stand
it.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Just let me go, okay? I’ll be okay.”

  “Janice, please.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Taking a quick step forward, she kissed him. Then she backed away.

  Glen gripped her hand.

  “So long, turkeys,” Glen called.

  Together, they walked away.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  “Can we go to the park?” Janice asked.

  “Sure.” Glen nodded, smiling. “Good a place as any.”

  He drove the old, battered Mustang with one hand. Janice was thankful that his other arm was in a cast. Otherwise, he would certainly be trying to hold her while he drove.

  “I really like the park,” Janice said.

  “Me, too.”

  “I go there a lot, especially at night.”

  “That ain’t too smart. There’s a lot of cruds hang around that place. You know, winos and stuff.”

  “I haven’t seen any.”

  “Yeah? Then you’re lucky.”

  He stopped his car at a curb near the south end of the park. Janice’s door wouldn’t open, so she slid across the seat and climbed out Glen’s side. He took her hand. Together, they crossed the dewy grass to the walkway.

  “I like it best over by the creek,” Janice said. “Where the old footbridge is?”

  Glen nodded. “Yeah.”

  “I’ve been there a lot, lately.”

  “Yeah? Doing what?” He sounded annoyed.

  “Just sitting, that’s all.”

  “Who with?”

  “Nobody.”

  His grip tightened, squeezing her hand painfully.

  “Stop that, or…”

  “Or what? What’re you gonna hit me with, this time?”

  “I won’t hit you, Glen. But if you don’t treat me nicely, I’ll never speak to you again.”

  “Yeah?” His grip loosened. “Okay. So who were you with?”

  “Nobody. I was just sitting alone, waiting.”

  “Sure.”

  They walked for a while in silence. The air had a damp chill. Letting go of Glen’s hand, Janice buttoned the jacket of her band uniform.

  “Okay,” Glen finally said. “So what were you waiting for?”